Thursday, May 01, 2008

Real talk #1

To officially start off the subset of this blog called real talk I actually have some real talk from my man Moki. Moki is my dude that I call when the white man at my work says some shit that makes me want to remind him that not only do I not need his job but he's not going to need his teeth much longer if he keeps being so cavalier in his manner towards me. Moki don't tell me to calm down, doesn't ask me to be reasonable, doesn't try and explain senior whiteys internal motivation. Moki just says shit like "Sometimes you need to remind people where you come from." and "Game recognize game son. You playing chess while these cats be playing checkers."

Occasionally Moki leaves me messages on my machine about the state of the world as he sees it. My man gave me the most stunning break down as to why th war in iraq will not be won by the West. "They strapping bombs to little retarded girls man. We can't handle that shit. You ready to put a bomb on a retard and send her ass out to Osama and whoever? Nah man, we ain't got the stones for this fight."

So in deference to the homie who only speaks that real talk i submit the following transcript of a voicemail I got from him last month.

Hey you what’s going to irritate me? What’s going to irritate me is the next time that I never hear a white mother fucker make an excuse for another white mother fucker about some shit they did that’s hella faulty but somehow I’m supposed to understand. Uh, John Mccain? Can you please stop apologizing now for the anniversary of Martin Luther King assassination, stop apologizing now for not understanding all the issues at the time when you voted against martin luther king day as a holiday and somehow now you’ve seen the error of your ways and “I don’t know what the hell I was thinking about and..” Listen man, I would just have more respect for white mother fuckers who said “Listen man, the only reason there ain’t no holiday for you black people in America is because…you really haven’t done shit, ok? Let’s just be clear about that. As far as we’re concerned, peanut butter, stop signs, uh building this mother fucker on your back and getting strapped with lashes, hey nigga, you ain’t done shit. So until you’ve done some shit like, you know, mother fucking, you know, straight genocide of a people, disenfranchising whole countries, uh, you know, all that shit, hey man, ain’t a mother fucking holidays for you people unless you do some shit. Cause right now we’re not that impressed. Martin Luther King? Who the fuck was that nigga? We don’t give a fuck about him. Nigga please. Get the fuck out of here.” But all that other shit about what they talking about Oh hey we didn’t know…whatever man. Why though? Why do you want me to believe this shit man? Terrible. John Mccain (In bad John Mccain voice “Arrgh, Sorry, seen the error of my ways. I didn’t know what I was thinking” White person you knew exactly what you were thinking. Real talk. Real Talk.


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