Undercover Stomping

OK so I’ve been around Gay black males most of my entire life. In fact, as there are so few out black gay men around me now, I can truly say I feel the lack. Maybe that was my impetus to see what has to be the GAYEST movie ever. Of course, I’m talking about Stomp the yard. For real, ya’ll. I mean I know its easy to make the assumption that when a bunch of young compact muscled black men all shiny and well toned doing coordinated dancing right out of a Brittany Spears video one of them must be named Twan, but before we let the stereotypes go without some analysis, if it walks like a duck and talk like a duck, quack quack. The movie is of course, wack wack.

I’ve got to say that I’m a little disturb about the trend of music, singing and dancing constantly being present in movies about black colleges. I didn’t go to one, but I hope Howard isn’t too much like School Daze, though Spike can do know wrong in my eyes. Upon reflection, in fact, I realize its spike’s critical gaze represented by the Black Nationalist demanding that their institution divest from all investments in the South African government. This gave balance to the focus on what I find to be one of the most perplexing and comical ideations of slavery, the Black fraternity. Stomp the yard, shot by a Video director, has none of that critical gaze, and chooses instead to focus on the glory of the black male body. Praise Jesus!

The film is a typically contrived story of a young man who doesn’t know how to work with a team...of dancers. Ok, wait, gotta go into this. Times like this I wish I had taken pictures with my camera phone. Ok, so the flick starts out in L.A where the main character, his brother, and their crew are about to battle another crew. Now this battle isn't guns, knives, or bad breath, but of course, dancing. Because it’s LA, and because its fun to watch, Crunking was the primary mode of expression. But this wasn't some backyard; Tommy the clown inspired all black fun and positivity crunking. This was some savage dragon type, Jet li should've been unleashed from the basement, dog fight happening in one corner and midgets taking money in another corner type spot. Now this was not the point of the movie, in fact its just a small little background setting piece, showing where the main character came from, but Can I just admit my secret desire to be in any place where dog fights and midget gamblers dwell? Tangent I know. My blog, I'll do what I want.



BACK TO THE GAYNESS! Ok, so pretty moderately light skinned LA boy gets taken in by his hella light skinned Aunt and Uncle as he attends shit you not, TRUTH University, in Atlanta. While there he meets a young woman I shall only refer to as Booty, because the camera always started on her Booty, and she had no other point other than being the heterosexual decoy that makes you think the main character is straight. In black gay male speak she'd be referred to as his "cover". The real tensions begin when the two big homosocial breeding grounds for experimentation, AKA (pun intentional) Black fraternities begin to vie for the main characters attentions. Apparently his dance moves are so hot, they just have to have him. The butches (Who make a little "W" with their hands and call themselves the Wolves) try and come on all butch, but out main character is a top and so he's not feeling that. But the Boogie boho negroes appeal to the rough trade with lip service about tradition, honor, and being part of an eternal brother hood that last for...yeah big fat circle jerk, I thought the same thing. The Bohos were the snakes or some such nonsense and did this thing with their hands with, I swear, is American Sign Language for "I'd like to stick my hand up your ass now, if you're willing." I guess the main character was down because he joins them, teaches them his rough trade street moves, they win the national "I dance a lot and am secure in my sexuality" competition. And he gets to keep his cover while having his bussy (bussy=boy pussy) satisfied at the same time. Moral of the story, so long as you have other black gay men around you, it's cool to be queer.



Ok, I know I'm dancing the homophobic line here, so let's make my obvious objection/enjoyment of the film clear: I would have enjoyed the movie ten times more if its latent content were manifest. I'd love to see a documentary about the black queer subculture of Black fraternities, black male dancers, or black men in entertainment at all. I would pay real money to see that. And while I know most of America wouldn't, having the biggest movie of the weekend be all on some undercover brother mentality seems off putting. It’s rare that I'm in a theater with that many teenagers (an indictment of the films I watch more than anything), and it saddens me than none of them will consider the possibility that even one person in that film wasn't straight. And for those of you who think I'm reading into the film, I encourage you to do the same. Passive reception of media makes idea slaves of us all.



Big Up Aunty A in the NM for adding afrogeeks to her start menu.

Ya'll looking for stickers? Keep looking, I ain't sent shit yet. It's crazy over here. Still got love for ya'll.

Anybody know about the Afrogeeks conference this year? Does that still happen? I want to go.