Fuck a Prius

Voice recognition is racists!

Ok, so I am absolutely fed up with talking cars, cell phones that dial when you speak into them and all this other bullshit technology that only works for white people. And dumb white people at that! That’s my overall issue, tech is being made for a lower and lower IQ. Case and point, Prius Drivers! All a-holes, all white. Even the black dude on Weeds that bought one ended up dead. To all Prius drivers, you know who you are, just because the car isn’t making any sounds, doesn’t mean its not on. You still have to drive! You can’t go twenty five on the free way just because you’re in a plug in electric fucking shitbird of a car!

A friend of mine has one of these moronic vehicles so I’ve ridden in one. Let me say, not a negroes car, not even an assimilated negro like myself (See previous post). For instance, you don’t put your seatbelt on, it snitches. NEGRO CARS DON’T SNITCH! And this isn’t like a “Hey put your seat belt on please.” Type buzzer It’s like “Um, excuse me police officer, I don’t want to interrupt but I have reason to believe that the person in the seat might not have his seat belt on” type consistent bleating! I hate a bitch ass car!
Here’s the straight no logic part of the car. Ok, so you back up in the car and there’s a camera that comes on so you can see what’s behind you. No drama there. But then there’s that Beep Beep truck backing up sound. Ok…wait for it…the sound only comes on INSIDE the car. Bitch ass car, we know we’re backing up, you don’t have to tell the drier we’re backing up. Tell everyone else! Shit, can’t even snitch right!

Ok, but here’s the real drama. It’s got the whole Bluetooth thing so you can make a hands free phone call. Ok, well me, I’ve got one of those afrocentric names. I didn’t choose it, I was saddled with it by my parents. Does the Prius recognize my name when you say it out loud? Of course not! How about my friend Arkeem? Or Nzigha? Or Doughboy? Dedan? Nothing! But Suzy, Sarah, Molly, Dan, Ralph, and Paul and call get their hands free phone call from inside a fucking Prius!

And its’ not just the Prius, Fuck Jott! Fuck my cell phone for not recognizing my people, fuck the programmers who program this shit. Here’s a clue programmers. You want real voice recognition? Watch the Wire, collect every name you can from the extras credits on the Wire, and program your software to recognize those names. Until your cell device can tell the difference between a Dijonaise and a lemonjello, don’t call it voice recognition. And I’m out.