Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Fuck a Prius

Voice recognition is racists!

Ok, so I am absolutely fed up with talking cars, cell phones that dial when you speak into them and all this other bullshit technology that only works for white people. And dumb white people at that! That’s my overall issue, tech is being made for a lower and lower IQ. Case and point, Prius Drivers! All a-holes, all white. Even the black dude on Weeds that bought one ended up dead. To all Prius drivers, you know who you are, just because the car isn’t making any sounds, doesn’t mean its not on. You still have to drive! You can’t go twenty five on the free way just because you’re in a plug in electric fucking shitbird of a car!

A friend of mine has one of these moronic vehicles so I’ve ridden in one. Let me say, not a negroes car, not even an assimilated negro like myself (See previous post). For instance, you don’t put your seatbelt on, it snitches. NEGRO CARS DON’T SNITCH! And this isn’t like a “Hey put your seat belt on please.” Type buzzer It’s like “Um, excuse me police officer, I don’t want to interrupt but I have reason to believe that the person in the seat might not have his seat belt on” type consistent bleating! I hate a bitch ass car!
Here’s the straight no logic part of the car. Ok, so you back up in the car and there’s a camera that comes on so you can see what’s behind you. No drama there. But then there’s that Beep Beep truck backing up sound. Ok…wait for it…the sound only comes on INSIDE the car. Bitch ass car, we know we’re backing up, you don’t have to tell the drier we’re backing up. Tell everyone else! Shit, can’t even snitch right!

Ok, but here’s the real drama. It’s got the whole Bluetooth thing so you can make a hands free phone call. Ok, well me, I’ve got one of those afrocentric names. I didn’t choose it, I was saddled with it by my parents. Does the Prius recognize my name when you say it out loud? Of course not! How about my friend Arkeem? Or Nzigha? Or Doughboy? Dedan? Nothing! But Suzy, Sarah, Molly, Dan, Ralph, and Paul and call get their hands free phone call from inside a fucking Prius!

And its’ not just the Prius, Fuck Jott! Fuck my cell phone for not recognizing my people, fuck the programmers who program this shit. Here’s a clue programmers. You want real voice recognition? Watch the Wire, collect every name you can from the extras credits on the Wire, and program your software to recognize those names. Until your cell device can tell the difference between a Dijonaise and a lemonjello, don’t call it voice recognition. And I’m out.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fucking hysterical.

9:45 AM  
Blogger michael a. gonzales said...

...just take a deep breath and count to ten.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Man! Now I can't join facebook because my real name is "fake" according to them. I bet if my name was Jill I'd be cool.

10:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard, my jaws are hurting. And what's even funnier is the fact HOW I got to this page.

I was watching Jeff Dunham and he kept talking about a Prius. Since I am a German citizen, I hade never seen a Prius nor did I know how to spell it. I typed all different kinds of variations: Priast, Priest, whatever.

Not even the google-god would help me out. So I typed in the search button: What is the fucking name of that small ass car? and BINGOOOOO

I found the name and I found this site....


6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You pretty much nailed it. The Prius is mostly aimed at condescending white a-holes with too much disposable income and an inferiority complex. They buy it to show off and as a conversation piece for stroking their own ego and boosting their image. They like to put bumper stickers on it proclaiming how wonderfully thoughtful and caring they are, fully intending to imply that the "common folk" driving normal vehicles are nothing but dog feces. Prius owners like to brag about how much more concerned they are about "environment" and "global warming" hysteria versus the common peons more worried about supporting a family and paying bills instead of being a pompous ass. And for those hung up on such issues, I am "white". Personally, skin melatonin level means nothing to me. It's the person inside that counts. Too bad my openly racist mother has never figured it out. And since I own a business, I understand and appreciate the blogger's complaint. Why not design the voice recognition system to recognize any name instead of mostly common white names? To do otherwise is just plain stupid, if not outright racist. It's that simple.

2:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your an asshole. And I hate Prius's too.

11:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are stupid. Voice recognition works by YOU recording YOUR VOICE into the database. There's no racist catalog of 100,000,000 white people names and phone numbers programmed into every $20 bluetooth device. If you can't get your voice recognition to work it's because you are a moron.

7:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is a stupid fuckign waste of time - you aholes have nothing better to do. I outdrive so-called sports cars in my Prius, and if I really want to stick it to them, I bring out my MINI and run circles around BMWs and SUVs. I mean it is a fuckign car, get over it and get a life you dipshits. It's the driver, not the car you pricks! I know of fucking hard core conservatives driving Priuses because they want to save gas, nothing more. Now if you smug bastards could drive, you would dump that SUV or that BMW and stop being the poseurs that you really are.

11:25 PM  

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