Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Paul Mooney is the only black leader for me

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I'm the Dj, there is no rapper

YO! This coming Friday Yours truly will be spinning some of the oldski wolsky and some of that hyphy stupid dumb yum chatter salt and peppered with that dancehall madness, all in the service of The Black Choreographers of the Yay Barea. So break off a little bread and do something positive for the community while you get your dance and drink on at the Linen life. Shoot, what else you gonna do with your Friday night?


Monday, November 20, 2006

I'm so proud that I've never watched an episode of Seinfield

I don't even need to say anything about this. I was going to post about the snoop horror flick I saw on Sunday. But this trumps that. Don't sleep folks. Push some people in a corner and some old stuff comes back up. Fuck Kramer yo!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

What the Hell?

And once again, it has nothing to do with race


Do you see why I love youtube yet?! Do you?

I know it's owned or about to be owned by evil(fill in the blank). But the concept: shoot it, edit it, sound it, present it! What's not to love? Where else would I find this? Sorry, my titties are hard right now. I'll get over it, soon. For now, learn about some communism via cartoons.

Friday, November 10, 2006


There is a spooky phenomenon that has been, and continues to, infect Brothers across the country. It plays to their most base personality traits; violence, instant financial gratification, drugs and distorted masculinity. No, I’m not talking about modern hip-hop or the public school system. I’m talking about Scarface. It was a marginally entertaining movie; years later, several versions were released on DVD and VHS, then the Scarface meme spread to t-shirts, jeans and other clothing; and now this shit has insinuated itself into gaming consoles. Seeing these young cats wearing Scarface clothing, adopting the “accent”, attempting to emulate what they think is “hard” and forcing a digital Tony Montana to MDK everything in sight, breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because Scarface is a work of fiction, the Italian Al Pacino (who is a brilliant actor) is playing a Cuban, a Cuban, who in turn is the product of Oliver Stone’s imagination, and so we already know that there is some Caucasoid bias and cultural voyeurism tainting the entire enterprise. So these young Brothers are trying to emulate and abstraction, abstracted from an abstraction, from an already ill-informed and abstract concept. Between Scarface and he bullshit Stop Snitchin’ campaign adopted by Black Folks…Where the hell will our young Black Men be in a few years?


Monday, November 06, 2006

Don't shoot white women!

Listen, everyone, this is important. DO NOT SHOOT WHITE WOMEN! I know its tempting, but if you shoot white women then the world will come to the brink of destruction, the likes of which we haven't seen since the days of the old testament. Don't believe me? Then go peep this flick:

You can shoot black women, Asian men, Sri Lankans of any gender (except Sasha from jahcoozi and maybe that MIA chick), in fact you can shoot anyone else EXCEPT FOR WHITE WOMEN. Shoot a white woman and a chain of events cascades around the world to show what a fragile daisy chain of relationships we co-exist in. But it only happens when you shoot a Caucasian female.

Along the same lines, if you happen to be a dictator of an African country and you're responsible for the deaths of over three hundred thousand people, your story is not nearly interesting enough to interest Hoolywood unless you have a white friend who witnesses your behavior. Now if this person doesn't exist, just make him up. Don't worry, no one will notice. Don’t believe me? Peep the flick below

Can ya'll tell how sick I am of pretentious Hollywood bullshit films framing themselves as though they are socially responsible when in actuality they're just recycling the old colonialist images with this generations clones? Maybe tomorrow night I'll write about why battlestar galactica and Justice League unlimited are the best pieces of storytelling I've seen in the past ten years. For now, I'm gonna just get stupid dumb hyphy and loud as I ride the yellow bus and go eighteen dummy.

I'm wrong for this I know..

..But I can't help it ya'll. I mean if you're gonna put this shit on YouTube, you know I gotta clown ya, right? I'm saying, I don't even know who this kid is but... Bad enough you videotape yourself doing this, but then to post it to youtube? The worst part is that he's so sincere about his moves. You see cats like this at the club every now and then, knowing they've been practicing their moves in isolation and shit. I'm hyper critical on foul dancing. I mean, if you're gonna go down to the floor, don't use the doorknob to pull yourself back up. And unless you're doing some tribal praying to the earth gods type dancing, don't go on all fours. It's not cute. I think its time to return to the old school where you had to know what you were doing before you stepped on the dance floor, and that shit had to be co-signed by other like minded individuals. This video is a prime example of when hyphy goes wrong. And don't ask me what does hyphy look like when it goes right, Shawn. I know you hating, but I'm trying to participate. Not with this kid. I'll give him points for this though, this little knucklehead is making me laugh on the regular. So props for that, but still I don't think she should be getting any for at least five years off the strength of this video alone. Think I'm mean? Watch the video then say something.